Playdates – mommy or nanny when it is right and not right even Angelina Jolie spends a lot of time with her kids

I live in Los Angeles and this is the land of people with nannies and stay at home moms. I happen to one of those moms without a nanny but I stay at home and work from home. In Los Angeles, many moms that work have nannies to help them pick up the children from school at 3p and get them settled daily since they cannot get home from their jobs usually until 7P.

There are also that rare breed in the world in Los Angeles and in New York City that have nannies and they don’t work but they are very busy doing charity work or sometimes just shopping with friends. I am not saying there is anything wrong with that. That is another conversation on another blog…I was just pointing out the differences.

Anyhow, my whole issue is the playdates and who attends them. It is now playdate time because it is summer vacation and summer camp is usually done because we are only a few weeks away from school starting again. So playdates or family vacation is what is occupying our little ones who are full of energy now. So in a normal place like a Boston suburb, a mom would call another mom and at 2P the one mom with her child or children would show up at the other’s house or a park and the kids would play and the moms would chat.

In Los Angeles, it is a more complicated matter …for example, last week a mom emailed me and said, my son would love to hang out with B, can we set up a playdate. I answered sure what day? She emailed back how about anytime this week? So I thought ok great Wed? She answered no, they have a tennis lesson, how about Thursday, I said sure what time. She answers Thursday at 1:30P? I said ok great.

I get there with B and the nanny is there but the mom is not. No explanation no email no call. So irritating. The Nanny is clearly expecting me and the kids play nicely. I like the child and it is fine. Just strange that I am having a playdate with a child and the nanny is there when the mom does not work and could not be there to be with her child and an invited playdate.

Could she have let me know at least that she was not going to be there? That would have been nice right? Anyhow, the question is: Is the playdate for the child and the mom? Or is the playdate for the child only? Should I have been offended or should I have just asked if the nanny could stay with my daughter too for the playdate while I sat in the living room to make some phone calls for my work?  What is the right behavior for this situation? Was I wrong to feel offended?


1 Comment

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One response to “Playdates – mommy or nanny when it is right and not right even Angelina Jolie spends a lot of time with her kids

  1. I would have just left your B there with the Nanny, since the other kid’s Mom was not willing to stick around to talk. Its like when I was growing up, I would just go over to my friend’s houses without my mom and just hang out until dinner time.

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