Hangin’ with the in laws – how often? – Newlywed Girl

What is the right amount of time to spend with your in laws? Am I supposed to see them once a week, bi-weekly, monthly, or something else? My in laws actually live within driving distance so the excuse for being too far is out of the question. My husband doesn’t see my parents often because they still live on the other side of the US, and they don’t often come for visits.

I don’t want to seem like I’m feeling obligated to see my in laws or anything. The question is more really about, how often is the right formula between too seldom and too frequently. Everytime we go down to the OC to see my in laws – hubby’s mom will make an elaborate meal with many courses to stuff us silly. I feel a little badly for making her go through all that work just because we are going there for a quick visit. For example, one time we drove down for a lunch and turns out she had been slaving away for hours to make some of my hubby’s favorite dishes from childhood. Then, after the meal is over, she cleans all the dishes and everything! She doesn’t want anyone in the kitchen but her, so I can’t even help her if I tried.

Lately more often than not, I try to suggest that we go out for the meal instead of going to their home for a homecooked meal. I hate thinking about how she puts in all that work to make the meal, and then the clean up. When I cook a lot – my husband helps with clean up, thats just how we operate. Maybe old school moms are different from our generation, but I am not going to be the only royalty in the kitchen domain.

What do you think about how often to see the in laws? Do you newlyweds out there deal with a similar scenario? Also, what do you think about my guilt on mom in law cooking and cleaning?


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Filed under in laws, newlywed

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