So I am reading about Jennifer Garner on Forbes.com and how she is the paid spokesperson for Baby Einstein and helped celebrate the 10th Anniversary of Baby Einstein at the Walt Disney Concert Hall when I hear “FIVE FOUR THREE TWO ONE BLAST OFF” from the backyard and I run out to my yard to hear a bunch of (adults) people hooting and hollering because they just launched some rockets or something from their yard and are cheering.
My first thought is – I hate them- they suck damnit they are always making noise. My 2nd thought is they are the same people who had a party until 2A a month ago and left us a note letting us know at 5P that night and that I should call the police right now! Then I stop and take a moment to think and tell myself, “Well when we make noise I am sure they feel the same way and I should try to be a little more tolerant since it is 12:30P in the afternoon this time and not 2A”.Then I think – wait WE NEVER MAKE NOISE. They are the ones always making the noise. So I am boiling and getting angrier and angrier and I call my husband who is at the park with our daughter. I sent him to the park with her after he was out all morning riding his bicycle so I could have a break. This is a story for another time…Anyhow, I tell him about the rocket launching in our neighbor’s backyard. He says, “OK what do you want me to do about it?” I say, “Well what should I do?” He says, ” Calm down… if they don’t stop in an hour call the police.” I hang up and continue to boil over. Thanks for the help B’s dad.
I know this sounds silly but this is constant so this Rocket Launching thing is just one of a series of issues we have with these people and this as they say was the last straw for me…So I wait and finally 30 minutes later it does stop. So I get over it until next time I suppose.
The real reason I am bringing this up is because I know that my 4 year old learns from my actions and I don’t want to be angry and yell at the neighbors in front of her if it is noon and they are trying to just have some fun (albeit not that safely) in their own backyard on a sunny day. But at the same time people who are inconsiderate will continue to be inconsiderate if we don’t do anything about it and I don’t want her to be a pushover when she grows up. So lately, as a mother who has learned that her 4 year old tends to copy everything she says or does, I have started to censor myself and be a little more careful in front of her.
It is just so hard to know what to do. Sometimes I am just angry with my husband because he is gone the whole morning riding his bike on a Saturday and Sunday and I wanted some family time as opposed to time with B alone and by the time he gets home, I am boiling and want to let rip on him because he was so inconsiderate. However, I don’t want to do that in front of B because I don’t want her to feel that her parents have a volatile relationship when we are simply having a disagreement about his beloved hobby versus our family time.
So the question is – what to do? What to do when you want your child to learn to stand up for herself but not to be irrational and get angry over every little thing. How do you teach that to your child in daily situations?
Daily situations present themselves constantly and how I handle it will probably affect how B deals with issues as a grown up. I don’t want to censor myself too much because then she will never see how to deal with real life situations. At the same time, which situations should I censor and which situations should I allow B to participate so that she grows up to be confident in dealing with disagreements and confrontations?
As a parent I guess I am learning as well. I just want B to grow up and learn to fairly deal with situations and stand up for her beliefs when necessary, but not unnecessarily. This will take time, and I am sure there will be more situations in life and probably again with my neighbors where she will have an opportunity to learn how to deal with a difficult situation.