When are you going to have a 2nd child for your B?

I despise this question – When are you going to have a 2nd child? And I believe it is a personal choice and really none of anyone’s business. I get all kinds of comments constantly – you should hurry up and just get it over with, your B needs a sibling, how can you just have one child? Your child will be a spoiled brat. I mean really what do these people really know? I come from a large family with many siblings and really I feel like I have done it already. I changed my brother’s diapers who is more than a decade younger  than me and also changed the diaper of my youngest sister who is more than a decade younger than me.

As my good friend J says – they will complain when they grow up whether you have 1 or 4. If you have 1 they wanted a sibling, if you have 4 they never had enough attention. If they went to public school because you did not have money to pay for all of them to go private they will say you should not have had all these children so I could not go to private and if you send the 1 to private that child will say to you well I always wanted to go to public school…whatever it is you are damned if you do or damned if you don’t as they say.

I read an interesting news item today about brothers on a Jet Blue flight from Boston to Florida who started a fight on the Jet Blue flight 455 today because the one was angry at the other for smoking in the bathroom. The plane had to be diverted to North Carolina while the one man was arrested and the other was holding his bloody head and helped off the plane. Brothers…

Siblings are supposed to love one another right? I mean for the most part I love all my siblings and we get along reasonably well. We are all in our 30’s and 20’s now and we have our differences but we try to make sure we get along most of the time. I prefer one or two over the others at times but for the most part we enjoy one another’s company.

I cannot say that is true for my parent’s siblings or my friend’s siblings who for the most part don’t get along so well with their siblings. So as a result of that, I take that experience and will most likely decide that my B may end up an only child. This is of course a personal choice based on my own personal decisions and experiences but lots of people feel the opposite from similar experiences.

My friend M felt that she grew up in a family where she and her siblings did not get along and therefore she needed to have a large family that she hoped would grow to love one another and rely on one another as they grew older. I am still waiting to see the results as her kids are my B’s age. Hey everyone is different right? So if M felt her large family did not work out and she wanted to make her own big family to improve on how she grew up – more power to her I say.

I am not saying my experience was bad. I just have made a personal choice to keep things simple and having one child for me is a simple lifestyle.

My husband works with a guy C who has 6 kids- they live in a 3 bedroom house and drive a huge car. They also have 2 dogs and 2 cats. They love having a large family. They say it is great because they love the craziness and chaos and just love seeing the little ones grow up. C says his wife would have another if they had the room in the house. I love hearing this story because they do without a lot of material things but just love being together. Isn’t this what it is all about? They are an amazing example of what really counts in life. I admire them for that even if it is not for me.


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