Recently one of my friends received a promise ring from her boyfriend of a few months. It was a modest diamond ring, set to look just like an engagement ring. She wore it on her right ring finger. I only noticed it when our friends started commenting about it shortly after she started wearing it. I went through the motions to congratulate her on the ring and check out the rock just as if it were an engagement ring.
My real thought while looking at her ring was, “What’s the point of a promise ring?” She had really only been dating her boyfriend for about 4-6 months, and already she’s wearing a ring to signify their relationship status? I feel like promise rings are really just an outdated ritual to take women off the dating market. Are promise rings tiny steps towards a promise of an engagement? First of all, after only 4-6 months, can you really be sure enough to make such a promise to promise to later on get engaged? Also, what is really the intent behind giving a woman such an important piece of jewelry so early on in the dating period?
When I mentioned this to my husband one night, his first reaction was that it was a complete joke and the guy was insecure. This could very well be true. My friend isn’t the type to stray anyway, and I guess maybe her boyfriend needed this mark on her finger to ward off other potential suitors. My problem with this is that a man doesn’t wear any jewelry during the promise, or even the engagement period. Seems like a double standard to me. This also probably begs the question of, why do we need engagement rings in the first place? I probably sound like a complete hypocrite since I do have an engagement ring, and I wanted the ring. I guess I just have stronger feelings against a promise ring than an engagement ring. The promise ring just feels like a fake gesture to me, whereas, the engagement ring and period is truly a first step towards marriage.
Sound off, what do you think about Promise Rings?