Category Archives: Pay bills

He’s been laid off, but you’re not…article I read today…

I read this article on CNN.com today that was repubished from The Frisky magazine.  http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/06/01/Tf.Unemployed.Boyfriend.Now.What/index.html 

I won’t go and recopy it over to this blog, so please do read it via that link I provided above.

In our tough economic times, many people (men and women) are losing their jobs every day. This article focuses specifically on men and their challenges with accepting their new role in the household post layoff, and how we, spouses need to help soothe their fallen egos and prides.

This article is a sort of guide that was written to help the working women in your household, deal with your husband’s recent job situation. It tells you to empathize, but not to pity and above all else…stay positive for his sake. If you read this article, you start to understand that men feel lost identity, humiliation, anger and frustration over their marginalization. I get all of it and can understand how that can be tough on the male species, however, my skeptic and unsympathetic side thinks…so what?

Unfortunately, life sometimes sets you up for disappointment. If anything, not having this particularly boring, or unsatisfactory job should give lots of time and opportunity to go and find that career of a lifetime. I personally have gone through this situation over the last few months, and I know that it was tough on my husband at first (I wrote about this particular subject a couple months earlier). I would like to think that we survived that trying time with how we always deal with difficult situations. I don’t think that I was especially empathetic or different from how I normally face problems and issues in life. I think more than anything, you’d want to maintain some sense of normalcy in your life when a big life change like this happens.

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How to Stay Positive in this Economy ~ Newlywed Girl

Every day on TV, online, newspaper and any other information source, you hear the depressing news about the state of the economy and how bad things are right now. The other day I read about this interview that Susie Ormond gave to Larry King. Her philosophy was that we should count our pennies and to try to stay positive.

Unemployment is a real deal in 2008/2009. Its so real that its even happened in my family. My husband was laid off around the holidays of 2008 and has been on the  job search. Thankfully, we have still one income and severance to rely on for the time being. We’ll really have to learn how to manage our budget with one source of funding, and like Susie says, count our pennies.

In the meantime, I’ve been trying my best to be supportive of my husband. Its a tough job market out there and even if he submits his resume a bunch of times, there are few if any bites his way. Its no time to be depressed or at all down on yourself. Eventually, we know he’ll get back on his feet and it’ll be better than ever.

What’s he doing to pass the time? Well aside from the daily emails, resume submissions, and calls here and there to recruiters, he’s keeping busy. He’s had time to do home projects, improve his golf game, and just have some much needed theraputic detox from his old job.

One REALLY cool thing that he did recently was volunteer at a local winery in the Santa Barbara area. He donated his free time to work the fields, pack boxes, and generally anything to help this local and very small vineyard. My husband felt productive and even had an opportunity to learn a lot more about the wine industry and the operations for running a vineyard and winery. If this is a dream of his in the future, he’s made steps towards it by giving some of his free time to help.

Some of the other things that we’ve talked about at length is determining what he’d like to do for himself. Now is really the time to reflect and open his mind and eyes to all the different possibilities. Does he want to go get certified in something? Does he want to become a wine sommelier? Does he want to go back to school? To me he’s got this terrific blank slate to figure it out.

He’s going to continue to look for jobs daily, and look for ways to get himself back in the work force. He’s also going to spend time at the local bookstore trying to figure out some of those questions above. The big what do I want to do? There’s time for him to go and absorb like a sponge, any and all information he can get his hands on. He’ll be able to work on his golf game that he’s been constantly trying to fix. Maybe I’ll even throw in a couple of those Honey Do’s when he lets me assign them 🙂

Basically the point of this post is to give you the real life experience of being part of the unemployed, and how we are trying to make the best of things. There’s no reason to go into dispair. I’m not a finance expert, so I won’t be able to give you advice there.  We do have to survive on my income alone so we will find a way, somehow.

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Filed under family topics, Pay bills

My 4 year old and the great outdoors

Nature is great for kids

I am fortunate to have a well behaved 4 year old who is not that demanding as 4 year olds are concerned. We are now 3 weeks away from the start of the new preschool year. It is almost like a countdown. Sounds horrible but I think every mom feels this way. I just came back from a week on vacation with my daughter and her 2 friends and the parents. My husband and I are very good friends with the parents so it was a very easy trip.

Every day – the 3 kids woke up to fresh air and breakfast on the patio. After breakfast we would take them on a nature hike, a swim, and to the beach. They were busy all day and it was just great for their little bodies.

At night it was great for the parents, right after dinner, they were tired and with a few bedtime stories, they were tucked in and sleeping and we got to watch the Olympics for the rest of the night.

I am talking about this not because I want to brag about my amazing parenting skills but to show a contrast of what is going on now that we have returned from our wonderful outdoor vacation adventure.

Back to reality, I am working on my other  blog again, doing my Ebay, paying household bills, my husband is back at work, and my daughter has no school and we cannot afford the $325 a week summer camp in our area. A nanny is out of the question as they are $13 and up an hour. So as I work on my morning items, my daughter plays in her room, has a friend over, or is planted in front of the television for 2 hours while I try to quickly finish my daily to do work tasks so I can take her out for the afternoon for the rest of her summer break.

As a mom, you feel pressure to do everything for your child- I want her to be able to have playdates, not watch a lot of television, get a lot of outdoor exercise, ride her bike daily and just never be bored.

I don’t know how to do that right now while she is still on school vacation. I don’t have help and I need to do some work on the computer and around the house. The laundry needs to be done, the dishes needed to be washed, and the house needs to be tidied. The beds cannot make themselves.

Some of my friends who have daily help or help a few days a week don’t understand. They tell me things like “just let the house go. It is no big deal. Your children are most important.” I truly agree my child is the most important but when the dishes are piled in the sink, and the dishwasher needs to be emptied…it seems like the house needs attention at the moment.

Would love some comments about what you do and how much help you have. Let me know. I would love to feel like I am not alone.

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Filed under Back to School, nanny costs, nature walks, Pay bills, summer camp